Last Resort

Because I am no longer an active blogger, I found the true purpose in blogs, as I see fit.

I find that there are moments when I have no one to really talk to while having profound thoughts. It usually happens once every now and then, so and so, etc.

Well, what I'd like to really express, in some way (writing, duh), is feeling so out of place with people and feeling like I have to adapt to their tendencies. I can't help but feel helpless.

Being yourself is cool and all. Actually its not like I'm acting fake around people. When I tell a joke or make people laugh, I do so genuinely. Its not even a front, but I will admit, it feels more routine at times when I have to keep a conversation going.

Sometimes I want to get to know people without seeing the whole Facebook thing going on, where people are doing this and that, looking all cool and busy with their shit. Perhaps too busy to even be YOUR friend.

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Another subject.

My taste in women is pretty weird as it is; I'm theoretically into homebodies who like to lay and watch TV all day, study, eat, and chill without having to wait to go to the next house party.

I rarely meet those types because they are usually not good looking enough for me. Thus, I have to settle for the"party-girl" types that I meet outside of parties. For example, school.

If worse comes to worse, and my relationship fails with Khristine, I will probably try a new approach in developing relationships:

Be as vague, untelling, and mind my own business. To not be wary that she has her own life, her own friends and family; they are irrelevant until she trusts me and introduces me to them.

And to not tell her my life until it is relevant or if she asks. However, I found that it is more healthy to articulate the beauty of your own life in order to catch interest from the opposite sex. It's almost like an art form one has to correct; the art of conversation.

I can't help but appear judgmental and assume that the lives of individual women are just the same as the female next to her.

Why ask about the cliche and predictable quality of an American female's life when all its going to do is break your heart?

Sometimes being ignorant is fine as it is.